letter to zach

Tiburon, August 15th 1980

Dear Zach,

Remember when we first met in the sweltering Tiburon heat? Remember how we celebrated your 15th Birthday together? Remember May? Remember August? Remember how much trouble i got us all into?

I still to this day feel bad about how I got you apprehended, arraigned and shackled. I never meant to. I swear. May’s death. Also my fault. Some times, I lie under the oak tree in our backyard, watching the stars at night, and I remember those days. It seems like May lies next to me then, giggling her happy laugh, her pigtails bouncing wildly around her head. I miss her even though I didn’t know her that well. Do you think she would ever be able to forgive me for what I did? Then remember Augusts death? She looked so emaciate in the end. I caused so many mournful calamities in my short life; the August one was not my fault though. Lets move to the more happy events.

Our story. Remember? It was published, and is now a best seller. It seemed imminent then, that we would get married after that, but time elapsed, and we did a bunch of important things before that. You going to law school. You becoming a lawyer, and having your first case. Us going to visit T.J. You and your people being assimilated into society. You interrogating me to marry you. I think that was the happiest day of my life yet. I love you Zach. Then our little girl. Amy. Our small innocent little girl. Her birth, her first tooth, her first time walking, her first day of school... It all seems so long ago. 

We might have had a few dissensions about a few things, but I always loved you. Time has elapsed, and it doesn't hurt that much anymore remembering. I will always have that hole in my chest, that will ache for my mother, May and August. Thank you Zach for making my life the way it is today. Thank you for  making it less bizarre. I couldn't have done it without you. You lionized me. You were meticulous to all my problems. You have made the bumpy road my life is build on more flat and smooth. I love you Zach, and that is why I want you to have the happiest birthday ever. 

Let our story live on,

Love you,

Lilly